Life stories: 1965

 Family ties [Previous ¦ Next]

After escaping Hungary and living halfway across the world, my parents finally felt ready to face family again, and we visited both grandmothers in Southern France and Dad's brother's family in Geneva. We daren't return to Hungary, because we had no citizenship as yet. My Mum's Dad had died in prison, having been part of the pre-communist régime, though her Mum lived on alone for almost 30 years (I was closest to her, though I rarely saw her). My Dad's Dad suffered from depression and already could not travel. My uncle was also an expat in Sudan, part of communist régime's help in parts of Africa, Southeast Asia and South America, which wreaked so much havoc for example in Cuba and Vietnam. My uncle was to die soon of untreated cancer, ironic considering that he taught medicine. Resulting unresolved and/or unexpressed grief from my Dad, would further add to tension in the family. For example he would leave for months in the bush for his job and never call back, when I never believed he could not.

Two trips were highlights for me, Papua New Guinea (1964) and New Zealand (1966) in the intervening years the company didn't pay for our trip home. Papuans still saw stone age co-exist with modern era, mountainous interior stayed much as it had before colonisation, and coastal areas thrived in modernity. That really struck me as a youth, and I'll always recall the village festival near Mount Hagen in the Papua highlands. Mountain men had a big toe that was almost like an opposing thumb for climbing up trees and muddy slopes, so imagine my surprise when a man riding a bicycle in loin-cloth and feathered head-dress used his big toe as a brake by sticking it between front tire and fork. Or to see women stick their afro in a pail of bleach and have lighter hair above a straight line over their ears. New Zealand was a less happy experience, as we toured North Island but never reached South Island due to a terrible car accident near Gisborne (it would gain fame later as the first major city west of the dateline and thus into the new millennium). Suffice it to say that while our old car had lap-belts in Brisbane, new shoulder belts in our then-new our rental car saved my parents' lives!

2016 update: what are the chances... Did you know we rented a semi near Cambridge UK, because the land lady joined her Kiwi husband near Tauranga... and that her husband said that, 50 years later it is still a black spot on the coastal road to Gisborne!